Its 6.30am and I can't sleep. This is partly because it's 25,000 degrees outside but also partly because I have a gig today and I'm nervous. Very nervous.
I've been doing a lot of gigging recently. Its the time of year for it. The Edinburgh Fringe is but days away and I'm hoping and praying that it will 'all pull together in the end.'
Previewing must surely be the hardest part of being a comedian. Its when you have to stand up in front of a group of people with a load of new material and hope that at least some of it lands. At one of my first gigs, the biggest laugh received was from when a stray dog wandered in off the street, onto my makeshift stage and sniffed my leg. I was performing to four people in a cafe basement. Wembley this is not.
Gigging in a heatwave is also not something you're expected to prepare for. Tiny, packed theatres with no fans or windows and stage lights which light up your performance space like the Sahara. This week I sweated so much at one gig that my mascara melted and rendered me temporarily blind in one eye. I performed the whole second half with a leering wink and finished with a gasp. I was so hot I wanted to jump out of the window.
Sweating and dogs aside, it would appear that the show, and my career are coming together. Just last Tuesday I welcomed a photographer from the Daily Telegraph into my home. Well I tried to, but I locked myself out coming out of the door to look for him. We ended up begging some kiwis from 5 doors down to scale my neighbours' garden walls and break into my house. They nearly went by undetected, until the hunk next door spotted them lurking by his rose bushes. After shouting at them in his pants for quite some time, I managed to persuade him that we were not a strange burgling collective but we were in fact the girl next door and a photographer from the Daily Telegraph. He looked flabbergasted, announced we had 5 minutes before he went on holiday, and lent us a ladder.
Wish me luck in Bedford tonight. After this week I feel as though I'm going to need it.