We’ve had a bad run of it recently with the neighbours.
The wholesome couple next door moved out without saying a word last week. We only noticed they were gone when we saw that all that was left of their front garden was their striped door mat. We thought about stealing it but then weren’t sure if they were coming back.
They are not.
As it turns out they have moved to Greenwich. Too many sleepless nights listening to us howl to Sinead O'Connor have driven them screaming from our formerly peaceful mews. And if it wasn’t Sinead, it was probably the sign on the door that said ‘I fucked Charlie Sheen and lived.’