I have decided that this is the opportune moment to tell the blogosphere that I am finally employed.
I am now working in fashion. I have nothing appropriate to wear, I am beginning to notice my likeness to an over stuffed scare crow and I have realized that if I am ever to function normally in a place of work, my personality must become dormant between the hours of nine and six.
I have also realized that now that I have reached the grand old age of 23, I am no longer capable of concealing the after effects of a weekend of excess to a suitable level.
The last minute free festival ticket offered to me on Friday seemed like a gift, it was in fact a sentence. There is a reason that people book the Monday off after such a weekend, and I was foolish to think that my qualifications as a sad blonde raver would help me through.
After waking myself up snoring on the loo I thought that the worst of the day was over. After lumbering back into the office and collapsing into my chair I realized that vomit could be imminent. I dashed for the bathroom again and sat on the floor, cursing myself for the decision to use my body as an amnesty bin.
After deciding that I was not in fact going to be sick and that it was safe to return to the office I heaved myself to my feet. Unfortunately I decided to stand up underneath the metal loo roll holder that was formerly securely attached to the wall.
I woke up on the floor, bleeding from the head with the nausea from hell and stumbled back into the office. I have not been fired yet for looking like a scene from saw…but watch this space.